Monday, April 6, 2009

Living in Purgatory

I believe at this time to be in a place right between Heaven and Hell, with the opportunity to ascend and the temptation to fall. The purpose of writing is not only to share one's enlightened insight but also one's delusion. The term "non-fiction" is sounding more alien because writing as this writer sees it is about what is, both truth and delusion. Then coming to insight, having admitted one's flawed perspectives, can be the most powerful cathartic experience.

In short, I currently live in a world where truly there is more misery, suffering, lack and sorrow than anything else, and YET what I see much of the time (or choose to see, based on what I think) is others happier, more successful, more fortunate... and this becomes a hell in itself. While it is still a most courageous, noble and essential venture to ascend, it is to be balanced with the awareness of gratitude. Grateful I am not in hell and have a chance, with the awareness that I can help those less fortunate... those who need help, not the lazy ones whose very presence is draining or life threatening to all whom they attempt to befriend. Goodwill not acquiescence.

So here and now I make the correction and recognize that "the happiness I see in others lives" is usually mixed with an equal or even greater amount of sorrow, past or present, and that desire when unobserved sees only what I wants to see and blocks out the rest. Still it remains that, like most other beings, I exist to make myself happy first and to live each day as though it were my last... to the absolute fullest, accepting and allowing good things and people to flow in.

In Purgatory

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