Tuesday, May 26, 2009

Recurring Dream

Usually it's happening on a subway train, with a couple of stops before I must get off. Bags are on all different benches, waaayyyy too much baggage, as I am extremely apprehensive about being able to gather everything up and get it out in time before the train doors shut... it fails every time and then either I wake up or the dream just spins into another web of unconsciousness.

In retrospect, I see the subway is a tunnel leading to a destination, via the train, away from this earth and departing from this life for good... hopefully to someplace higher or more holy than the last. I never quite get to that next destination because I'm weighed down with too much baggage, terrified of leaving it on the vehicle of transport. When this life ends one must ready, in an instant, to drop everything and move forward. Also in life, to live one must regularly be free enough to let go and risk the possibility of loss, knowing nothing really essential is ever really lost. That leap of faith is essential, both in living and in dying.

So while the previous post illustrated a block (or inner wound) in my kinetic energy flow... that which is active, creative & expressive, this is taking it one step deeper providing a needed clue as to what's behind it. The inability to let go (of all that is past) makes it impossible to move forward (in the present, towards the future), be it physical or emotional baggage and/or anything we think we cannot live without... this body being the first thing coming to mind, and all the pleasures, memories, cherished beliefs, ideas and images that accompany us astrally on this grosser physical plane. To live is to die, to die is to live...


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