To assert arrogantly the superiority of one's own wisdom, compassion, spiritual development, etc, is really the same as the judging of another as inferior. The moment ego enters the picture *you* have already lost or gone astray. The more I truly learn about life, humankind and all there is in cosmic consciousness to know, the more it becomes clear how much I do not know.
The self-conscious ego has no place here, in fact it is only in the way, just as it is irrelevant during those industrious moments where efficiency (not vanity) is all that is really needed. If I am thinking about myself, then clearly I am neither aware nor connected. In this light, to replace the "lower mind thinking" with "higher thoughts" is the greatest potential delusion of all, for such an individual is merely hiding (not facing) what is real in himself. As Chogyam Trungpa points out in "Meditation in Action", this "manure of consciousness" is the very essence of Bodhi, the Enlightened Mind itself.
So without getting into self-justification and rationalizations of all kinds, truly I have a greater sense of "the God or Goddess in you" with people who are genuine, who keep it real and whom are not full of shallow platitudes to continue hiding the truth, the reality. I may post and read many writings from teachers who've gone way beyond anything I've known or experienced, and yet the underlying truth behind all of it is true *self-awareness*, the antithesis of egoic consciousness and all forms of deluded spiritual materialism.
Better to acknowledge that I am full of the kind of violence that a Lion would display in response to an attack on her cubs... who would un-cinematically rip to shreds anyone that dares threaten me or those I love (in self-defense only of course). While there is nothing enlightened in feeling or thinking this way, I never for a moment claim to be enlightened or beyond the violence within, however well controlled and restrained I remain.. and if I am to say that I love everyone equally and value the welfare of every single sentient being alive, this would be a most obvious (and ridiculous) lie.
I acknowledge, observe and gradually vigilantly chip off pieces of this rock, not by escape into positive thinking but through a direct and honest understanding. All of my shortcomings and imperfections go right to the surface, with nothing to hide.
Joel
Saturday, April 24, 2010
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